he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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