Me too!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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