your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
