He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
