I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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