dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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