sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
