Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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