I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
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I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
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You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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