Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
