You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize