shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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