How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
