Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
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Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize