I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
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My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
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So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.