Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.

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  (617): Yes. UR adorable in a weird way. http://tfl.nu/w3l6
  Replies (5) Good night (1229) Bad night (704)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  How unfortunate for your Mom.

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  (847): My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein. (1-847): How unfortunate for your Mom. http://tfl.nu/e7p2
  Replies (33) Good night (812) Bad night (3817)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store

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  (520): just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store http://tfl.nu/shho
  Replies (12) Good night (4003) Bad night (1219)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.

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  (804): Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning. http://tfl.nu/1rpm
  Replies (9) Good night (3562) Bad night (971)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy

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  (860): drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy http://tfl.nu/cj1r
  Replies (10) Good night (3555) Bad night (1100)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today

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  (315): i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today http://tfl.nu/vzvz
  Replies (4) Good night (2775) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!

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  (216): I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this! http://tfl.nu/r5na
  Replies (4) Good night (2602) Bad night (1033)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.

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  (440): Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table. http://tfl.nu/pm1l
  Replies (3) Good night (2102) Bad night (1140)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  they won't let me drive with my sombrero

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  (757): they won't let me drive with my sombrero http://tfl.nu/1zde
  Replies (9) Good night (3030) Bad night (1062)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible

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  (614): just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible http://tfl.nu/tr7j
  Replies (1) Good night (1583) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"

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  (541): So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that" http://tfl.nu/ex2y
  Replies (12) Good night (2621) Bad night (1030)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg

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  (419): Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg http://tfl.nu/keiy
  Replies (1) Good night (1294) Bad night (415)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless

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  (920): I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless http://tfl.nu/u2yk
  Replies (2) Good night (1336) Bad night (455)
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  (310): View more from California

  So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..

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  (310): So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me.. http://tfl.nu/vhak
  Replies (2) Good night (635) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.

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  (216): Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious. http://tfl.nu/m0rv
  Replies (1) Good night (552) Bad night (281)

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