she was so not down for the gang bang
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
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Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration