Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Party's warming up, a tranny just got here... http://tfl.nu/y3c5
  Replies (1) Good night (4713) Bad night (1579)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low http://tfl.nu/2nm4
  Replies (4) Good night (749) Bad night (1531)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (909): good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant http://tfl.nu/4y6m
  Replies (10) Good night (543) Bad night (2523)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee http://tfl.nu/m4t7
  Replies (33) Good night (1402) Bad night (4185)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation http://tfl.nu/369m
  Replies (13) Good night (4818) Bad night (1567)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?! http://tfl.nu/h7d0
  Replies (20) Good night (7864) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee http://tfl.nu/ouc6
  Replies (23) Good night (5730) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined. http://tfl.nu/05lw
  Replies (5) Good night (2571) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks. http://tfl.nu/kgtb
  Replies (12) Good night (2932) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours. http://tfl.nu/4ug0
  Replies (1) Good night (2256) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (567): View more from Ohio

  For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (567): For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts. http://tfl.nu/swyw
  Replies (10) Good night (1962) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Except even better, boobs get discounts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8. (307): Except even better, boobs get discounts. http://tfl.nu/cz7z
  Replies (11) Good night (1894) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties http://tfl.nu/jqe8
  Replies (2) Good night (984) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone http://tfl.nu/1xod
  Replies (6) Good night (594) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die (1-616): that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida http://tfl.nu/3jsk
  Replies (6) Good night (1085) Bad night (414)

Randomize