i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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