I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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