If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
