things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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