We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
