You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
