I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
