She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize