Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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