Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
