Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
