who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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