he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
