Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
