Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
