I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just gift wrapped bread.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
