You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
