Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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