but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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