guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
