So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
