Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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