Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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