so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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