We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
