haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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