i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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