im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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