absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
