So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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