Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
