i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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