He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
