so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
They took my balls.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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