I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
