So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
