even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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