i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
