There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
