we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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