I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize