brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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