Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It was like getting head from an anaconda
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
