ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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