Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
