she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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