you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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