Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
50% drunk capacity currently
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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